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Boundaries as Your New Best Friends

Things are moving quickly.

There’s an accelerated energy in the air this year. It’s an incredible time to be alive in the world.

Yet it’s also an important time to not get ‘carried away’.

Now more than ever, we need to tap into our true inner yes’s and no’sto keep us living in full alignment with our own core values. 

We need to call on our sovereignty.

What is sovereignty?

Personal sovereignty gets expressed through our declared personal boundaries.

Instead of hard and fast rules that get dished out with a motivation of self-preservation, greed and 'power over' (think ruler protecting the kingdom or forcing ownership over others with an intent of possession and control), sovereign boundaries are instead courageously expressed WITH LOVE.

We speak up about what feels right for us and what doesn't. It can be a hard conversation to have, but when we carry an intent of love with us, it softens the walls of judgement and defence that can otherwise get built.

Sovereign boundaries require that we dig deeper, beyond old ingrained habits and patterns of the ego - like people-pleasing (breeding ground for resentment), aggression (passive or forthright),  confrontational defence without compassion (misuse of power) and fearful withdrawal and retreat (powerless victim).

Sovereign boundaries are like a rudder that navigate your soul through this human life. They show us how to morally and ethically operate, amongst the ebbs and flows of the world around us.

What gets in the way of knowing our boundaries?

Boundaries get experienced as a felt- energy rising within us. They ultimately get expressed as a YES or a NO.

Sometimes though, obstacles get in the way of us being able to recognise them:

  • over-striving and 'keeping busy' (avoidance of surrendering to the decisions of the soul)
  • over-analysis of the situation i.e. thinking your way through it (just leads to overwhelm and indecisiveness)
  • leaky energy e.g. asking everyone you've ever known for their opinion first (a fast-track to total confusion!)

Get to know your boundaries like 'soulmates' 

A great friend holds you compassionately accountable through life. They have no problem letting you know when you're out of line, with a compassionate intention of seeing you live to your highest potential again.

Consider your sovereign boundaries as having the same purpose. They're here to support you to make heart-led decisions that not only spiritually evolve you, they are of great benefit to others in life too.

Would you find it easier to communicate the truth of your yes's and no's if you knew it was for the betterment of the planet? 

Your body is a tool that's always with you, to reveal your boundaries

Instead of thinking your way through a decision (hello confusion and over-analysis), get to know what your boundaries feel like in your body. 

You might ask:

Q. 'In regards to this situation, what does a YES feel like in my body?'

Q. 'What does a NO feel like in my body?'

It can be a personal thing, yet a YES generally feels: 

  • Expansive
  • Goose bumps (or ‘spirit-bubbles’!)
  • Inspirational, yet calm 
  • You may not be able to see what’s on the other side of the YES, but there’s a deeper Knowing that everything’s going to work out
  • You breathe easy

A NO generally feels:

  • Constrictive 
  • Tense
  • You can’t quite explain it, but something just ‘doesn’t feel right’
  • You feel a ‘retreat’ or pull-back in your body
  • You hold your breath

When boundaries arise as a felt resonance, they’ll be like a familiar friend showing you how to stay on your own powerful path. 

This is what makes the practice of yoga so powerful: we befriend the body and breath intimately, and allow them to guide us through mental and emotional distortions, and into wisdom and clarity

Tap into a more meaningful experience of life

Sovereignty - it’s not about having ‘power over’; it’s about tapping into the power within and communicating it with love.

The more you get to know your own personal boundaries, and call on your sovereign energy to communicate the yes's and no's with love, the more you'll come to trust a deeper wisdom that exists within you.

There will be instantaneous feedback in life around you showing you that you’re on track (feedback will also occur if you’ve made your decision from an opposite space e.g. out of fear, lack, anger, etc).

Put your sovereign energy into action right now

1. What’s an area of your life that you need to get more sovereign in? 

Is there a business decision you're unsure of? Is there something happening in a personal relationship that feels incongruent? Are you exhausted from saying yes anytime someone asks you to do something? (hello fellow people pleaser!)

2. When you bear this unresolved area of your life in mind, what is the point of decision?

Perhaps it's whether you progress with something or not, give the scenario some more space, speak up about something or perhaps you need to walk away from something. Get clear on the decision point.

3. Ask yourself how it feels, in relation to this decision:

Ask yourself the question: 'What does a YES feel like in my body?' Note down your felt experience.

Then ask yourself, in relation to this decision: 'What does a NO feel like in my body?' Again, note down your felt experience.

4. How can you lovingly communicate this?

If your boundary is something that requires outward communication, remember that this is your own soul's boundary. It might be different to the next persons. 

Don't make it about any another person (avoid dipping into blame) and don't get lost in the dramatic story of the situation that has given rise to your boundaries (avoid excuses and justification).

Yes, it takes great courage to walk the line of your own truth, despite others desires, agendas, egoic reactivity and despite their own sovereign boundaries.

With the quick-changing pace of life right now, you're being called on to step up and take full responsibility for your decisions. Own them with authority and certainty. Trust that it's for your own spiritual growth.

In this way your sovereign yes's and no's, when communicated with an intention of LOVE, will always be for the betterment of all others too.

Deepen your presence through mindfulness, yoga and meditation...and then show others how to do it to!

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